The wait for scan results is something that we have discussed several times, but as time goes on it seems that each scan brings with it more and more stress. Simon and I talked about this and we know that every scan gets closer to the one we don’t want to get, it would be the one where we hear that the chemo is not working so well. I am normally the one that will remain positive but this time I feared the worst, I kept thinking that over the past few years we always got bad news in November and thought this would be the same, I am not supersticious but could not help but fear the worst.
HOWEVER, this was not the case this time. As usual we sat in a room for several minutes on our own waiting for Dr Sheriff to come in, these minutes dragged and I mean dragged, however he knows us well and so gave us the news that the scan was stable. This is the best it would ever be, and the relief on the room was obvious. So our onwards and upwards is another three months of treatment, and scan again. Time to breath again.
One of the drugs Simon is on is Cetuximab, this is by far giving him the most side effects which is to his skin. So looking at the side effects he is getting the Consultant has reduced the dose to 55%, this comes with it a host of worries, does this decision, though for the right reasons, mean this will actually stop working now. For now we will take the reduction and go through the next three months until the next scan.
For me work and home life has reached a limit that I need to take a step back from work. I have tried to juggle work and home and I have realised I cannot do both. So after a visit to my GP I am taking time off work to try to get everything back onto an even keel. My mind works overtime, my head full of everything that is going on in work and at home and to be quite honest with you, I need to stop. With work in mind I have made the decision to take easy retirement and come the end of March next year will be retried and will be at home with Simon full time. This was not a difficult decision, we need to be together and to spend time living.
So we are heading into Christmas, house is decorated and we have plans to see all the family over holidays. Thank you for again staying with is for another year and following this journey we are on.
Onwards and upwards, TTFN