The Show must go on…..

No one ever said this would be easy, and my god this year hasn’t been easy at all. As we got through the summer we thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, it appears though that the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel was a train coming the other way.

We knew that Simons CT scan was due at the end of October, this was to check for anything untoward, to plan his stoma reversal and to kick this year out. CT scan done and we went for results and to find out how we can plan what happens next. There is something about a Doctors face when they face you that you know somethings not going to go our way……. it appears Simon has some company in his lungs, in fact the company has company. As soon as they mentioned a trio of problems I think we both shut down and all sense of time and reason went out of the door. All I knew was that Simon was to have a PET CT scan to see if the three lesions were all there was, be discussed at the MDT (Multi Disciplinary Team) meeting and we would be seen in oncology in 4-6 weeks…….. in fact with the assistance of the lovely Radiology team and Maria, one of the Cancer Nurse Specialists, we have got this done in 2 weeks.

The past two weeks have felt like torture. We have talked, sat silent, worked and I have found the ability to cry just about anywhere, on the bus, in meetings, you name it’s happened. However hard these two weeks have been we have got to today when we go back for more results and a plan.

We are now sat waiting to leave for the hospital. Breakfast eaten and random 70’s and 80’s disco music playing round the house, it’s a bid to break the tension and distract us from whatever the day will bring. Jane, one of my sisters is coming with us, she came two weeks ago and tried desperately to speak reason to us, but she was unable to get through the fear, and quite frankly the desolate feelings we both had. She is brave to agree to come back for round two but I need her to listen with us.

So, I will report back for part 2 later today. Onwards and upwards Mr C.



Packing his bag and polishing his shoes……


Here we go again……


  1. Andy Riwe

    Thinking of you both. Xxx

  2. Gill

    One day at a time Ali. Deal with today’s problems today. Don’t get sucked into the ‘What if’scenarios, deal with them as they arise. Focus on every day as special and make a list of the things to be thankful for. Things like – woke up and the sun was shining or Ali brought me a cuppa of tea in bed or that rose in the garden is beautiful.

    It’s always good to take a 3rd pair of listening ears and a notebook. I’m stage 4 inoperable colon with Mets to liver, lungs and bone. I’m approaching 2and a half years since D’s.

    A wise person once said to me that while we cant control what happens to our bodies, we can control the attitude we take towards it. Never forget that there are things that the cancer will never control. Things like attitude, sense of humour etc all the things that make you, you.

    Sorry rambled on a bit 🤐

    Fingers crossed 🤞and best wishes to you both

    Gill x

    • Ali

      I can’t tell you how your words have kept me going today, thank you so much for your message xx

      • Gill

        Glad it helped Ali. Just need to concentrate on the ‘now’ and deal with it in baby steps. Thinking of you both. X

  3. Jennie Wills

    God love you all, not too sure what to say at this point
    Just keeping everything crossed and a better outcome.
    I will keep lighting the candles for you xxx

  4. Mel

    To you both again not sure what to say have only just read this on my way back from London with work. I hope the news was positive keep fighting and thinking about you both sending hugs xx

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