Quarters are good

Quarter 1 done

Well, thats the first quarter sorted and out of the way, do we cheer, no, there is no banner waving through this yet.  We strike it off the calendar, heads down and move on.

Simon would say we get into our “battle rhythm”,  you need to, but its hard.  I think we both found cycle 2 a challenge,  there are a mix of things that make it this way.  Tablets taken at 0800 and 1800 following a meal, we are strict with this routine, particularly the morning as this dictates the whole day.    When people ask about the chemo Simon is on and you say tablet form there appears to be in some people a look of “oh thats not too bad then”,  tablets can’t be as bad as an IV infusion.  Chemo comes in various forms ALL ARE PRETTY SHIT! When I say tablets, 10 a day, the size of which you do wonder whether swallowing or inserting is the correct method of administration.

The last few days were tough, Simon would sit with a drink and tablets looking at them and I know just taking them is difficult.  There have been days when he has wanted to give up, but I won’t let him.  I remind him of how far we have come, how brilliant he has been, how amazing, resilient he is. We brush ourselves off, we look forward and move on.

We intersperse moments with “things”, breakfast in Tavistock, driving out somewhere, pottering in the garden (when did we get so old we “potter”).  Last weekend we went to see Simons Mum,  if you know Simon you will know his love for Cornwall runs through his core.  The Cornish air, and an evening of eating home made pasties at his Mums did us both the world of good.    We were able to enjoy the sunshine, visit family and these beauties who are residing in his Mums fields.

We also took in some of the sights,  Cornwall did its best to look amazing!

From a wife perspective

Simon and I have been married for 25 months, of that time he has been in what I would say “active cancer treatment” for 14 of those,  those 11 months in the middle we were able to do “stuff”, which included a well deserved holiday…….. well 9 days in Barbados, where we arrived with the tail end of one hurricane and greeted a second one whilst we were there…….. however, we took waterproof ponchos (for some reason he is always prepared for anything!) which came in handy.  And we laughed a lot.  We tend to do that when the going gets tough.

I am just going to put this out there………. I AM FINDING IT HARD!  Juggling work life, and home life is difficult.  I do not have the easiest job in the world, but I was reminded this week by a colleague that however bad things were at home I need to work and so I need to get on with it, thanks for that!   Their words came on a day when I was trying to explain that Simon had managed to get from the bed to the settee, was feeling very unwell and I was struggling,  I had meetings all day and was very concerned how he was.  I wasn’t asking for sympathy, neither of us have ever wanted that, however empathy or just letting me talk would have been helpful at that moment.  My head and my heart are battling this dilemma on a daily basis. So I have got that off my chest now, sorry for that.

Things you need when being the dutiful wife:

  • Things to do book,  every day he has a list of chore, that he has to cross off when complete, and those that are not are carried over to the following day (tough love rules).
  • “Find Friends” handy little app on my phone so I know where he is if he tells me he is going out somewhere, honest i’m not spying on him.
  • Ability to sit through the random programmes he has recorded,  ‘Nazi Megastructures, The World at War’ , all things ‘NASA” related, the life of a house brick (I did make the last one up but I want you to feel my pain)

Still this wife is fighting,  I would go to the ends of the earth to enable this man to beat this, to feel right, so we can feel normal again.

Well, the sun is out, its Sunday and we are going to enjoy the day.

Cycle 3 starts in 4 days, we have bloods and appointment this week, so before he catches me on here, have a good one TTFN.


Cycle 2 – Houston we have a problem


Cycle 3 – Day ‘0’ “Play is suspended for today”


  1. Pauline williams

    You’re an amazing couple. I know there is not much that I can do to help either of you but offer a shoulder to lean on , an ear to listen and a hand to offer a tissue if and when you need it All my love to you both, xxxx

  2. Steve Boot

    Hey you two, we are really pleased to hear from you (especially as this is the only comms we have with you both). We have definitely earned our steak knives over the past two weeks.
    No one can tell you they know how you feel and Ali’s colleague at work showed spectacular selfishness but, unfortunately, there is a lot of that about.
    When we read the piece about Simon’s television viewing habits Marie laughed, because that is the sort of “stuff” I watch. I am even starting a petition for a new programme on the the life of a house brick because that would be awesome.
    We are sending positive vibes as always.
    Steve and Marie xx

    • Ali

      Maybe we should meet up and plan said house brick programme, it would be a hit I’m sure. I can’t believe there is another person that watches the same stuff. You are on BBQ tongs to match the steak knives at this rate. Hopefully catch up soon xx

      • Steve Boot

        We are clear that timing for a catch up is when it works for you both, so, just let us know (I think Simon has my mobile number) and we will be there. Can I exchange my BBQ tongs for a box set of either Nazi Megstructures or How its Made!

  3. Jennie

    Ali, my heart aches for you both, I feel a bit lost for words, (not like me I know)
    But I am here if you ever need me 😘😘😘 xxx

  4. Honey C

    Mate this brought a tear to my eye as I know it’s hard for you to watch your hubby going through this – I will be back next week and then you can always escape to my office for a cuppa and a chat (always here for you) and Simon xxx onwards and upwards Ali xx he will beat this, it’s just a horrible rocky road for you both to go down for the next 3 quarters xx keep your chin up mate – thinking of you both from sunny Portugal (had to get the last bit in) hehe xxxx

  5. Mel

    Hang on in there Ali still here if you need us it’s tough times sending hugs xxx

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