Day 28 – ‘Adjustment’

Are you one of those people that never reads the instruction manual when you buy something? Just ripping open the box so you can play with your new toy? .

Mostly this is NOT me, except in the case of my Stoma. I dutifully listened intently to all the teachings provided by the Stoma nurses and the Doctors but it is only now that I have actually sat down to read the ‘Little Simon instruction manual’.

It must be incredibly difficult finding the right intelligence level when putting these things together, and on reading this today I have come to the conclusion that they are catering for the ‘morons’ contingent….

I have discussed on the blog in detail ‘expectations’ , mostly my over ambitious expectations of where I want to be over what is realist. I am gradually coming to terms with this, although for me this ‘acceptance’ is the most challenging thing.

Again reading the instruction manual for the surgery provided a useful reminder of how long recovery may take.

It’s a month tomorrow, I should reflect on that, and concentrate on how much things have improved in the last 4 weeks as opposed to my capabilities before surgery.

In some respects it is amazing following the amount of ‘giblets, offal & assorted tissue’ that has been removed that I am not in any pain at all.

I know what your thinking ‘Iv seen that hot bod before?’ (Or something similar)

Yes thats right you have!

The man who was previously Daniel Craig’s body double in Casino Royale is now auditioning for a cameo in the forthcoming remake – ‘Jaws 6 Revenge of the Mako’ set in Cornwall I have a small cameo role as a fisherman who is savagely mauled by an angry Basking shark. I role for which I was made in my current physique

If that proves to be unsuccessful there’s always a walk-on part for me as ‘man with two bellybuttons’ .

Whilst not in pain, the removal of tissue and the subsequent loss of abdominal strength is difficult, this is the adjustment that I need to make.

The weakness in this area is all to obvious, with otherwise simple tasks such as:

  • Emptying the dishwasher
  • Loading the washing machine
  • Doing the dishes

Practically impossible for me to undertake…

Gosh, hang on they all appear to be things around the house. How unfortunate 😉


Day 27 – ‘From peaky to Peak Tor’


Day 30 – ‘Does my bum look big in this?’


  1. Oh Simon, you’re amazing. Never lose your sense of humour please! I’ve often wondered why some bowel cancer pages have to explain that abdomen means ‘tummy’ and bowel movement equates to ‘poo’! Must be lowest common denominator!

    Onward and upward my friend!


  2. Steve Boot

    I don’t know Ali, the lengths some people will go to in order to avoid domestic chores. Mind you, most women I know would accept that for a body like that (DC’s not Simon’s). Simon, how far you have come in one month is amazing. I go in for knee surgery tomorrow and I won’t be walking up any Tors this side of Summer!

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