‘T-minus 2 days… bowel prep’

“When the bottom drops out of your world, take bowel prep and let the world drop out of your bottom.”

That would be a highly appropriate tag line for the packet. In fact I think I will propose that to GSK or Pfizer, you never know?

For those that have never had the delights of bowel prep it’s one of the more horrendous parts of the procedure, a sort of chemically induced enema that is highly efficient at evacuating every last morsel in your digestive system, and then every last drop of fluid until you engage in a virtuous circle of drinking and immediately passing said fluid. Want to try?

I have to admit in my younger days as a trainee hospital engineer a similar effect could be inflicted on an unsuspecting foe by squirting a couple of drops of something known as ‘Housemans No. 12’ (a brown liquid used to reduce the oxygen content of water in a boiler) in the tea of a co-worker.

Within 30 mins said recipient would be hovering over the toilet praying to an almighty being for his lavatorial predicament to cease.

I myself, of course cannot admit to such reckless and scurrilous behaviour. A mere onlooker in the process.

There is (thankfully) salvation in the bowel prep process in the form of a ‘top tip’ from an old school chum. “Use Vaseline and Andrex wipes, and dab, don’t wipe!” Such wise words

Proverbs 16:20 ‘whoever gives heed to instruction prospers’

Amen to that


‘Sign here please…’


‘T-minus 1 day’


  1. Colin Heard

    Good luck for tomorrow Simon. Houseman’s No. 12 has always served me well over the years and in times of need! When your back on your bike and out on the trail, give me a shout. Colin

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